As of March 16th, Chris & I were officially approved to adopt! We're so excited! Check out our profile on our agency's website.
Friday, we're interviewing a pediatrician. Next, we need to start searching for child care.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
We're Approved (conditionally)!
So we're approved, but conditionally. This is because I'm unemployed and receiving unemployment compensation. It makes the whole situation a little bittersweet. Yay, we're home study approved; bummer we had to sign a document that says I'm looking for employment in the event my unemployment isn't extended and that we're not going to incur anymore debt. And, we may also have to submit an updated financial report before a baby is placed with us. On a positive note, I'm already looking for work and Chris has reduced the interest rate on his credit cards so that's a good thing. Intellectually I understand that it's incumbent upon the agency to make sure that we can provide for a new baby. Emotionally it makes me angry. Angry because if I were some 20 year old college student who had gotten drunk at a party, hooked up with some guy and found myself pregnant, no one would be questioning my employment opportunities. I'll get over it. It will take a minute or two, but it will happen.
On a happier note, I've ordered and received my gDiapers! They're adorable. I can't believe we're going to have a baby small enough to fit them :) I've also ordered a Moby wrap so that we can wear the baby and facilitate attachment and bonding. So far we have a diaper bag, diapers, and soon, the Moby wrap. We still need a stroller, car seat, play yard, and some clothes for bringing home baby. A friend is donating a crib so we're all set there.
We're almost officially waiting!
On a happier note, I've ordered and received my gDiapers! They're adorable. I can't believe we're going to have a baby small enough to fit them :) I've also ordered a Moby wrap so that we can wear the baby and facilitate attachment and bonding. So far we have a diaper bag, diapers, and soon, the Moby wrap. We still need a stroller, car seat, play yard, and some clothes for bringing home baby. A friend is donating a crib so we're all set there.
We're almost officially waiting!
Monday, March 8, 2010
I Heart Open Arms Adoption Network!
A week ago Sunday, Chris and I attended a day long open adoption seminar. It was fantastic! In addition to meeting with other couples in the process, we were also treated to first person stories from birth and adoptive parents. The day ran from 10:00-4:30 including breakfast and lunch. It was really nice meeting and speaking with couples we haven't previously met in our adoption workshops. It really made me feel connected to others in the struggle for parenthood. One of the things that I love about our agency is the diversity of the staff and clients. The other thing I love is that it is a small agency so I feel like a person and not a number.
About the seminar - the birth parents discussed how they felt when they discovered they were pregnant, their difficulties in deciding whether to parent, terminate, or choose adoption, and how they chose parents for their babies. The stories were heartbreaking, hopeful, and joyful all at the same time. Each of the birth parents have very good relationships with the parents of their children and let us know that their relationships work because they work at good communication, which for them includes letters, pictures, emails, and visits.
The adoptive parents that spoke, all brought their children with them. It was so much fun to ooh and ahh over the babies and see how happy the older kids were in their families. Each family had a different birth story. Some were chosen with time to get to know the birth mothers and others were chosen after the baby was born. The latter situation seemed to be the most difficult because at this point, the birth mothers want limited or closed communication with the adoptive parents. This was hard for the adoptive parents because it meant their children will probably miss out on connections with their biological families.
All-in-all it was a nice day. The weather was good, the speakers great, and the interaction was fun.
About the seminar - the birth parents discussed how they felt when they discovered they were pregnant, their difficulties in deciding whether to parent, terminate, or choose adoption, and how they chose parents for their babies. The stories were heartbreaking, hopeful, and joyful all at the same time. Each of the birth parents have very good relationships with the parents of their children and let us know that their relationships work because they work at good communication, which for them includes letters, pictures, emails, and visits.
The adoptive parents that spoke, all brought their children with them. It was so much fun to ooh and ahh over the babies and see how happy the older kids were in their families. Each family had a different birth story. Some were chosen with time to get to know the birth mothers and others were chosen after the baby was born. The latter situation seemed to be the most difficult because at this point, the birth mothers want limited or closed communication with the adoptive parents. This was hard for the adoptive parents because it meant their children will probably miss out on connections with their biological families.
All-in-all it was a nice day. The weather was good, the speakers great, and the interaction was fun.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Final Home Study Wrap-up
Our final home study went well! Chris was sick with a cold but held it together :) E (our SW) arrived on time and we got down to business. I think the entire process lasted just over an hour. First we spoke as a couple and then Chris went upstairs to the bedroom to rest while E finished my one-on-one interview. After that, I gave her a tour of the house and then we spoke again as a couple. She had positive things to say and reiterated that she would definitely let us know if there was any chance we wouldn't be home study approved. The only possible glitch is our debt to equity ratio which my be a little debt heavy. She'll discuss with the agency's director and let us know if we need to pay down a little more debt before we're approved. I think it will all work out.
I wasn't nervous about meeting with E. My biggest concern was making sure the house looked "good". We're not dirty folks but we have a lot of stuff and clutter that we'd been working on getting rid of pre-adoption. It's great that the house part of the home study is done. I feel like I can finally breath a sigh of relief! And, it's nice to have free time that isn't interrupted by thoughts of what I should be doing to get ready. There are plenty of boxes in our closets that still need going through but at least now we can pull one out, deal with it, and keep moving forward.
Another great thing that happened was I had a draft of our profile book printed. We used the reprographics company used by Chris' university. They have a good reputation, do quick work, and are pretty affordable. We'll send the draft to the agency and await their feedback. Once that is received, we then have to make 25 copies of the book along with 25 additional copies of our dear expectant parent letter. All copies of the letter have to be hand signed and then delivered to the agency along with the profile books. We're looking at a cost of $500+ dollars! Somehow that was an expense we hadn't budgeted for, but what are you gonna do? How many copies of your profile book did you need to provide to your agency?
All that's left to do is to start working on the nursery. There are still a few boxes and items that need clearing before the room can be painted. I hate painting but it will be far cheaper if we do it ourselves. Luckily the room is not that big :) I think it's safe now to start getting a few supplies since we expect to have our profile active in the next few weeks. I'm thinking a few diapers, onsies, and pajamas. I definitely want to get a travel system (car seat & stroller) and a bassinet or cradle for our room sooner rather than later. This is the cradle I like. It's only $69 and recyclable. Oh yeah, we still need to find a pediatrician and check out daycare options. What was I saying about free time?
J.
I wasn't nervous about meeting with E. My biggest concern was making sure the house looked "good". We're not dirty folks but we have a lot of stuff and clutter that we'd been working on getting rid of pre-adoption. It's great that the house part of the home study is done. I feel like I can finally breath a sigh of relief! And, it's nice to have free time that isn't interrupted by thoughts of what I should be doing to get ready. There are plenty of boxes in our closets that still need going through but at least now we can pull one out, deal with it, and keep moving forward.
Another great thing that happened was I had a draft of our profile book printed. We used the reprographics company used by Chris' university. They have a good reputation, do quick work, and are pretty affordable. We'll send the draft to the agency and await their feedback. Once that is received, we then have to make 25 copies of the book along with 25 additional copies of our dear expectant parent letter. All copies of the letter have to be hand signed and then delivered to the agency along with the profile books. We're looking at a cost of $500+ dollars! Somehow that was an expense we hadn't budgeted for, but what are you gonna do? How many copies of your profile book did you need to provide to your agency?
All that's left to do is to start working on the nursery. There are still a few boxes and items that need clearing before the room can be painted. I hate painting but it will be far cheaper if we do it ourselves. Luckily the room is not that big :) I think it's safe now to start getting a few supplies since we expect to have our profile active in the next few weeks. I'm thinking a few diapers, onsies, and pajamas. I definitely want to get a travel system (car seat & stroller) and a bassinet or cradle for our room sooner rather than later. This is the cradle I like. It's only $69 and recyclable. Oh yeah, we still need to find a pediatrician and check out daycare options. What was I saying about free time?
J.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Countdown to Final Home study
Hi All!
Our final home study is tomorrow! Yikes is all I can say. We've been painting (fire place), cleaning, spraying, and decluttering like mad :) We're both pretty pooped but there's still a little left to do. It's just vacuuming, dish washing, and dusting. I'm also going to bake pumpkin muffins for tomorrow. E, our SW, is arriving at 11:00 so I thought I should have a snack ready just in case. I should have purchased a baked good to save myself a little time, but the day got away from me. It's an easy muffin recipe and shouldn't take long to whip up and bake. I just realized I've been so preoccupied with getting the house in shape that I haven't thought of what to wear. Yikes again. I'm trying to get done by 9:00 so that I can take a break and watch American Idol. LOL
Is it me or does everyone go through this cleaning, decorating, making it just so craziness for the in-home study? I'll keep you all posted on how it went.
J.
Our final home study is tomorrow! Yikes is all I can say. We've been painting (fire place), cleaning, spraying, and decluttering like mad :) We're both pretty pooped but there's still a little left to do. It's just vacuuming, dish washing, and dusting. I'm also going to bake pumpkin muffins for tomorrow. E, our SW, is arriving at 11:00 so I thought I should have a snack ready just in case. I should have purchased a baked good to save myself a little time, but the day got away from me. It's an easy muffin recipe and shouldn't take long to whip up and bake. I just realized I've been so preoccupied with getting the house in shape that I haven't thought of what to wear. Yikes again. I'm trying to get done by 9:00 so that I can take a break and watch American Idol. LOL
Is it me or does everyone go through this cleaning, decorating, making it just so craziness for the in-home study? I'll keep you all posted on how it went.
J.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Home Study Prep
Hey All! Our Thu home study has been rescheduled due to the 3rd blizzard of the winter. We're tentatively rescheduled for this Fri, but given Philly is shut down tomorrow (Thu) it's not looking good for Fri either. If we have to move our meeting to next week, that will be good for us. We can use the extra prep time. We were already in the process of de-cluttering the house but the adoption process has given us more incentive to get it done quicker. Doesn't it just blow that potential adoptive parents have to make sure their how is "presentable" when others can get knocked up and not give the cleanliness of their home another thought? It sucks but I'm happy to do it if means I can finally become a mom.
Anyhoo, one of our projects was painting the fireplace and a section of adjoining wall. Mind you, we started our painting project two years ago when we bought the house. Somehow the fireplace, wall, and baseboard trim failed to be painted :) I know the reason we didn't work on the fireplace was because of all of the time it took to prime and paint - 3 hrs, but worth it in the end.
BEFORE
AFTER - the wall is a mustard yellow and the brick is a terra cotta color.
Anyhoo, one of our projects was painting the fireplace and a section of adjoining wall. Mind you, we started our painting project two years ago when we bought the house. Somehow the fireplace, wall, and baseboard trim failed to be painted :) I know the reason we didn't work on the fireplace was because of all of the time it took to prime and paint - 3 hrs, but worth it in the end.
BEFORE
AFTER - the wall is a mustard yellow and the brick is a terra cotta color.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Hi! A little background.
Hi there! I'm Joyce from Philly (Philadelphia) and this is my blog about my open adoption adventure. My husband Chris and I have been married for three years; our fourth anniversary is in August. We started trying to conceive a year after marriage and didn't have any luck on our own. We saw an infertility specialist who was really great. Dr. H pulled no punches and let us know that getting pregnant at my age (44 at the time) would not be easy. We tried Clomid to improve my ovulation and had four rounds of intrauterine insemination - two with my husband's sperm and two with donor sperm. We were disappointed each time we didn't conceive :( After that, Dr. H said we should consider donor embryos as our next step. We thought about it and researched the process. It didn't take long for us to decide against that option. If we were going to adopt embryos and go through the adoption process without a guarantee for a baby, why not adopt instead? And that's how we came to adoption.
We've done all of the paper work, fingerprinting, and clearances. We're two/three home studies down. Our third and final home study is scheduled for this Thu but given the upcoming blizzard beginning Tue evening, I think we're going to be rescheduled.
So that's it for now. I just wanted to say hello and tell a little bit about myself.
We've done all of the paper work, fingerprinting, and clearances. We're two/three home studies down. Our third and final home study is scheduled for this Thu but given the upcoming blizzard beginning Tue evening, I think we're going to be rescheduled.
So that's it for now. I just wanted to say hello and tell a little bit about myself.
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