Saturday, January 15, 2011

Teaching Moment - Dishwasher Installation

Thursday I had a new dishwasher installed. The two installer guys were in their late 40s to mid 50s, and nice enough. I sat in the dining room with Sammy so that he could watch the installation and I was chatting with the guys as they worked. Both of them had kids so they would talk to Sammy, trying to get him to smile. Tall guy commented on Sammy's hands and said that they were big and that Sammy would probably be a big guy. Then he asked if Sammy's dad was big, to which I replied, he's adopted and his birth dad is pretty tall. Both said I did a great thing and tall guy said his sister had adopted children. Taller guy said that he thought people who gave their babies up for adoption were cowards and that they wanted the fun without the responsibility. I countered that it's very tough for parents to place their children for adoption and that most would keep their children with them if they could. I shared that Sammy's parents were already parenting two children and that they knew they couldn't give a third child all that he needed at this time. I also said that it's better for parents to place their children for adoption if they know they aren't equipped to take care of them. Taller guy then sort of backpedaled and said something like, oh, i guess it (adoption) isn't what I thought now that I know. After that he asked about the process, how long, paperwork etc. So in the end, the conversation ended on a positive note and he is now a little more educated about adoption. This was my first adoption "teaching" moment outside of my family. And I jumped in because I felt protective of Sammy's first parents and of adoption in general.


Sweet Patience said...

Great teaching opportunity. To educate and inform!

FAB said...

First of all Yay for the new dishwasher!!!

It sounds like you handled the situation beautifully. I actually get those comments all the time, probably because HJ's adoptive status is more obvious, and it burns me. When people say "oh I could never give up a child" I think to myself, "probably not because you are obviously not nearly as loving and as brave as Henry's birthmom" - although I usually try to actually say it to them a little more nicely!

Contumacy Singh said...

I'm glad I read this. You were great. Maybe they will share what they've learned with someone else.


Maru said...

Great job!